Interpersonal tension in the aging mother and adult daughter relationship.

Abstract

This study examined interpersonal tension in normative aging mother/adult daughter dyads. Forty-eight dyads of healthy older mothers (mean age = 76) and their adult daughters (mean age = 44) participated. These were mothers and daughters who reported having frequent contact with one another. This dissertation examined several aspects of interpersonal tension, including: (1) sources of tension, (2) frequency of tension, (3) patterns of communication or conflict styles, (4) affect experienced with tense situations. Furthermore, it examined the associations between that tension and the well-being of the individuals involved. Multiple methods were used to gain an understanding of the components of interpersonal tension, and mothers' and daughters' experiences of that tension. Subjects were interviewed alone, together, and completed individual questionnaires. Assessments of tension included: (1) open-ended questions, (2) forced-choice indices, (3) observed behaviors, and (4) story completion tasks. There were generational differences in perceptions of the source of tension. Daughters were more critical of their mothers and tended to view interpersonal tension as more embedded in the relationship. In general, mothers had more diffuse complaints while daughters tended to complain about their mothers' intrusiveness or her habits. Daughters tended to speak up more directly with their complaints than did their mothers. Daughters generally spoke more positively about the relationship during the joint interview than they had been in the individual interview. However, even in the joint interview, daughters were less positive about the relationship than were their mothers. In general, mothers tended to express more positive feelings about the relationship than did daughters. Mothers also tended to rate their daughters' feelings for the relationship more positively than daughters rated their own feelings. Mothers' failure to perceive tension in the relationship may reflect daughters' failure to communicate negative feelings. While direct communication of tension has been associated with positive outcomes elsewhere, in this study, hesitating to speak about problems with the other was associated with well-being for mothers and daughters. The mother's role as kinkeeper in the family and generational differences in conceptions of their relationship are discussed, as are unique aspects of the aging mother/daughter relationship.