Is character sexy? The desirability of character strengths in romantic partners.

Abstract

The primary purpose of this project was to investigate the extent to which individuals value character strengths in romantic relationships. The evolutionary psychology literature offers a compelling explanation for why individuals might find character strengths attractive in romantic partners. However, little empirical research exists in support of this theory. Although several empirical studies have demonstrated that character in general is attractive, few studies have examined the relative attractiveness of specific character strengths. Thus, the primary goal of this study was to address a paucity in the literature and generate empirical evidence for what many know from life experience to be true, that character strengths are highly attractive and highly valued in a romantic partner. This project involved two studies. In the first study, I coded 222 personal advertisements in terms of the frequency with which various character strengths (and other relevant personal characteristics) were mentioned. In the second, I conducted an online survey in which 1367 participants first considered their most successful romantic relationship and then rated how important various characteristics of their partners were in contributing to the success of the relationship. Analysis of personal advertisements revealed that 7 of the 12 most frequently mentioned characteristics requested in a romantic partner were character strengths: capacity to love and be loved, sense of humor, enthusiasm, kindness, appreciation of beauty and excellence, curiosity, and critical thinking/intelligence, Furthermore, loyalty, the ability to love and be loved, honesty, kindness, playfulness, critical thinking/intelligence, forgiveness, and fairness were among the top 12 most highly rated partner characteristics on the online questionnaire. This project showed that character is, indeed, sexy. Men and women consider character to be important in building a successful relationship, and they actively seek partners with specific character strengths. These findings have practical implications for those seeking to build a successful relationship, and they might offer some reassurance to those lamenting a perceived erosion of values within our society.