Other than mother: Identity and relationships among voluntarily childless women.

Abstract

Traditional theories of female identity have assumed motherhood and maternal dynamics are central to a woman's healthy sense of self. Yet the case of voluntarily childless women illuminates how maternal identity can be problematic, and how other modes of relating can be gratifying. Two studies were conducted investigating relational identity and well-being among voluntarily childless women, aged 30 to 49. In the questionnaire study (N = 46), regression analyses indicated that non-maternal identity, less time spent caring for one's family of origin, stereotypic masculinity, and relationship commitment status contribute to well-being. The interview study (N = 18) examined the interpersonal relationships of childfree women, focusing on three areas: psychological reasons to be childfree; current relational orientation; and family history. Relational orientation was defined as the predominant mode of relating to others; and the women described three kinds: protective, empowering, and self-expressive. A discriminant analysis revealed that depending on their relational orientation, women varied in which reasons they emphasized, and in which conditions for caring they stipulated. A protective orientation emphasized a discomfort with the dependencies of the child, and the tremendous responsibilities of parenting. An empowering stance emphasized the difficulties in establishing limits on the nurturing relations involved in being a mother, and the need for time alone. A self-expressive stance emphasized the difficulties in pursuing one's own interests and self-actualization, and the preference for reciprocity and egalitarianism in relationships. Overall, the empowering stance was associated with higher levels of well-being, and the protective stance with lower levels. A cluster analysis identified three types of family history, none of which was directly related to relational orientation. In general, while women varied in the quality and source of the nurturing they experienced, they all tended to identify with their mothers' non-maternal competencies, and further, many communicated a sense of their mothers' own ambivalences about motherhood. Three case studies were presented illustrating types of family history. Overall, the results of this thesis indicate that a non-maternal identity need not reflect diminished capacities for relationships. Finally, implications for feminist clinical theory are discussed.