Individual differences in conflict management with a friend: Associations with social understanding and early experiences in family conflict.

Abstract

This study examined cognitive, behavioral, and family correlates of children's conflict management behavior with a close friend. Thirty seven children were observed interacting with their mother and older sibling at 33 months and with a friend at 72 months. Children's verbal competence and three aspects of social understanding were also assessed: a false belief task and the PPVT were administered at 47 months; understanding conflicting emotions and moral orientation were assessed at 67 months. Children's verbal competence and their early use of argument during family disputes were not associated with their later behavior during disputes with a friend. More sophisticated social understanding did, however, predict more constructive approaches to conflict: emotion understanding was negatively related to conflict initiation, performance on the false belief task was positively related to the use of distraction strategies, and moral orientation was positively related to the child's resolution of conflicts with submission or compromise and less frequent involvement in unresolved disputes. Early use of argument by family members during disputes with the child was also associated with the child's later behavior. Argument used by the mother and sibling that considered the child's needs (i.e., other-oriented argument) was positively associated with the child's later use of constructive argument strategies and resolution techniques and negatively related to the child's use of aggravating strategies during child-friend disputes. The mother's use of argument that focused on her own needs (i.e., self-oriented argument) and the sibling's use of no argument were negatively related to these outcomes. These associations were independent of mother-child involvement and sibling relationship quality. A model that considered verbal competence, moral orientation, early child argument, and early mother argument in the prediction of the child's conflict behavior with a close friend was supported. Moreover, the mother's early use of other-oriented and self-oriented argument predicted the child's later resolution of conflicts with a friend, independent of the child's early argument patterns, moral orientation, and verbal competence. Implications for the development of conflict management abilities and the expression of these abilities in the context of child-friend disputes are discussed.