Finding the Strength to Heal After Campus Unwanted Sexual Experiences: A Journey of Identity and Strength
Sinko, Laura
2019
Abstract
There is a significant body of literature highlighting the impact of unwanted sexual experiences (USEs) on undergraduate health, disproportionately affecting female students compared to their male counterparts. Although we know much about the negative consequences of this concerning social and public health issue, we know little about survivor’s healing needs and desires and what ultimately impacts their ability to recover and seek help after these sexually violent experiences. Therefore, the purpose of this dissertation is to better understand the retrospective and day-to-day healing processes of female undergraduate survivors of campus USEs as well as important influences of this phenomenon. Specific aims of this dissertation are four-fold including: 1. Evaluate the mediating role of trauma-related shame on the relationship between perceived peer rape myth acceptance and posttraumatic growth (PTG) in this population (N=174); 2. Evaluate the shared and independent variance contributions of mental health symptom and trauma history clusters on PTG (n=151); 3. Understand internal and socio-cultural influences of USE healing, as well as the nature of survivor healing goals, using narrative interviewing in a subset of our quantitative population (n=24); and 4. Understand the day-to-day USE healing process and goals, using a photo elicitation methodology focusing on healing and darker moments within survivors daily lives in a subset of our narrative interviewing population (n=17). Results of this dissertation reveal that although trauma-related shame does not mediate the relationship between perceived peer rape myth acceptance and PTG, mental health symptoms and trauma history significantly contribute to 35.27% of PTG variance, with trauma history significantly impacting PTG scores beyond mental health symptoms alone. Additionally, our grounded theory analysis yields the Healing after Unwanted Sexual Experiences Model. In this model, the normalization of sexual aggression within one’s social context is found to influence how one makes meaning of their USE, activating a cascade of emotions (shame, self-blame, fear, anger/frustration) and impacting their ability to integrate trauma into their identity. Through this model, we show that by externalizing one’s trauma and integrating it into one’s core identity, survivors of campus USE were able to pursue identified healing goals (i.e. reconstructing identity, cultivating worthiness, regaining trust, rebuilding worldview, and finding your voice). Finally, our photo elicitation analysis indicates that day-to-day healing functions on a continuum, impacted by darker moments (i.e. feelings of fear, anxiety, loneliness, guilt, anger, worthlessness) manifesting in overwhelm, disconnection, or vulnerability, as well as healing moments (i.e. rebuilding moments of self-care, self-love, connection, hope, peace, and freedom) influenced by self-reflection, authentic interactions, and resource utilization. Taken together, these results as a whole significantly contribute to our understanding of undergraduate USE healing, by creating a roadmap that can be used by survivors and service providers to better understand important influences and benchmarks in the day-to-day and grand healing process after campus USE. By acknowledging the great influence of the normalization of violence within American university culture and empowering survivors of campus USE to recognize their strengths and rise above this powerful socio-cultural silencer, we can begin to create a hopeful university environment that better supports survivor growth and healing needs.Subjects
Trauma Recovery Gender-based Violence Campus Sexual Assault
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